When the anxiety and the depression kicked in for the first time…I really don’t know what to do. I don’t know what’s triggered the attack. It was launched against me without warning. May be there was a warning…obviously I am totally unaware of it. I thought I am going to die….that day.
Anyhoo, it was 3 years ago. I’m not saying I am fully recovered from it. It just that I have found way to ‘control’ it. When I feel I am going to burst..I’ll pause in whatever I do at that moment and leave everything as it is. Whatever I’m doing at that moment, it will cause the anxious feeling and depression state deepen. I had to stop.
But depression never leave. Whether you realized it or not depression is already planting a bomb in you. It’s gonna explode anytime. When it does you are not gonna be the same you. It ruined you from the inside. Slowly but deeply.
When I first had it. It was at night. Inside my boyfriend’s car. We were on our way back home. I already feel different that day. Though my life was as usual I can’t help but feeling gloomy inside. I thought may be I’m tired from running my own legal firm and preparing for my wedding that going to happen in 3 weeks time. So that night I wasn’t expecting any unusual. Then it happened.
Suddenly my chest feels tight. I feel numb. I can’t feel my face. I’m out of breath. I thought I’m going to have a heart attack but I didn’t feel any sort of pain in my chest. But it’s so tight. I can’t breathed. Enough to send a panic alert to my boyfriend. We end up in the emergency room that night.
My life never the same anymore since that night.
I’m not writing this so that I can’t tell people how to successfully recovered from depression. Honestly, I don’t know how. I am certain no one knows or whether there is really a way to cure depression.
What I really wanted to tell is depression is real and its serious and harmful. Don’t ever joke about depression. Depression could kill and its already taken many life as we speak.
The scary thing is it could happened to every single one of people in this planet.
So educate yourself. Learn about depression. It could helped you and the people you love.