Being a Mother is the most rewarding feeling I had ever experience but if people ask me whether I would love being a mother for the second time all over again…..I would say NO.
I don’t think so.
I’m not mentally and emotionally strong to begin with. To be honest, I have a difficult time playing role as a Mother. I do not wish to be in a position where I am uncertain and clueless most of the time. However, being a parent put you in an uncertainty and inconvenience most of the time. It made me scared of what future gonna hold for my little boy.
To be really honest, I never dream of being a mother. It was never occurred to me and in my mind that one day I will become a mother. I am almost certain that I will never be able to get pregnant. Just because.
But God has a better plan for me. I could not understand it at first nor that I understand it better now, but who am I to question what he had in store for me. There must be a reason and one day it will hit me and I will be able to say “Ohhhhhh…now I know”
So for the time being let me try my very best to be a good mother to my adorable son. Though I constantly think that he deserves a better mother but to give him up is not something that I will ever do or think of. My son is the person that I love the most in this entire universe. The love I have for him is so true, pure and unconditional.
Sweeter than Jelly Bean.
Back to the thing I said earlier of me being a mother for the second time, it’s a personal choice that I would love people around me to respect despite the popular beliefs. I’m not against anything but each of us has different struggles. My life is different from other people’s life. I have my very own reasons. I will let God decides on my behalf as he knew what is the best for me. He knew why I do not wish to become a mother again but I also believe that he had forseen everything and what future hold for me. THEREFORE, if he eventually decided against my will I will accept it and redha.
*The 18th months young Sirr Abbasy Emmanuel.